I lecture the man, “You want to obtain an impossible communication system so that you can communicate with a mysterious communications partner.  The partner doesn't care with whom the partner deals, as long as they don't get involved in attention getting violence.  You can't currently deal with the communications partner, only because you don't have the proper communications device.  So far so good?”

The man looks straight ahead, “So far, so good.”

“Your communication device is at least the very secret product of a very advanced national government.  No national government would deal in the situation I have described.  Thus, you're dealing with aliens.  Money would be worthless to aliens.  Thus, the aliens are willing to deal because they are obtaining some goods from you, which goods are very important to the aliens.  Since aliens can't be seen, at least not too often, they insist upon doing the dealing while in motion, hence the vehicle.  If you can obtain the vehicle that you want and its communication system, you can provide the aliens with the requisite goods and obtain their sophisticated dope in return.”

The man’s face gets hard.  He asks, “Why do you assume that we're dealing dope?”

I explain the obvious, “It was either dope or weapons.  Since the current possessors of the communication system are not some sort of army, it can really only be dope.”

The man says, “Okay, we have to have the communications system.  How do we go about getting the communication system?”

I again lecture the man, “If I tell you how I can get the communications system, you'll assume that you can bypass me and get the communication system by the same methods.  You can't get the communication system without me.  The process of getting and using the communication system requires the unique talents of a repo man.  The repo guy is the method that's required to get what you want.  I'm the best repo man on this planet.”

The man snorts, “Well, my boastful fellow, why don’t you just tell us how to get the communications device and we will pay you your $100,000 fee.  You then will have your pay and you don't need to worry further about the matter.”

I sigh and lecture, “Let us suppose that I tell you that you are so stupid that you require brain surgery.  I'll hire the best brain surgeon around and he/she will tell your lady partner how to do it, in detail.  Then your lady partner will perform the surgery, after you pay off the consulting brain surgeon.”

The man says, “Stealing a vehicle is not brain surgery.”

“I can hire you any number of very skilled car thieves.  They're the very top of the car thief profession and none of them can do the job for you.”

The man thinks for a few moments.  “All right, convince me we need your talents.”

“At last, reason!  You could clearly steal the vehicle yourselves, or at least make a good amateur try.  However, you probably don't know which of several identical vehicles contains the actual communication device.  Anyhow, that's how I would set up the vehicle security.  You can't follow all of the vehicles until the aliens make contact with the one live vehicle, the aliens, not to mention your rivals, would detect you and there would be problems, big problems.  You couldn't try to seize all of the vehicles or there would be an attention attracting war with your rivals.  Chances are, the current vehicle operators are heavily armed.  Possibly the operation would use, oh let us say, helicopter support for the vehicles.  If attacked, the current vehicle operators would be able to fight long enough for the cavalry to arrive.”

The man glances suspiciously at me and sighs.  (He suddenly realizes that he’s not dealing with a car thief, but a very skilled professional. “Very good.  It took us some time and money to gather that information.  How is it that you have the information?”

(The man obviously has a gun ready to use on me.  This is the part of my operation I hate.)  “Because, I'm a very experienced repo guy.  I have seen every trick you can imagine and many that you can't.  I simply selected the decoy trick.  The decoy trick is the only one with any chance at all of working, to foil someone ripping off the live vehicle.  Thus, your rivals have stumbled on the decoy trick.”

The man seems to relax a bit.

I continue my lecture, “I know how to get the vehicle and the embedded communications system.  There might be a few, very smart, very senior repo men who might work that out, although I doubt that.  Once I have the vehicle, I can check it out for certain problems with which your people have no experience.  Finally, I can tell you how to successfully use the vehicle, despite the probable opposition of the current possessors of the communications system.  No one else in this world can tell you that.  The situation requires my expertise and my direct involvement.  I'm the only one on this planet with the required expertise.  If you want the communications systems vehicle, you have to have me”

Since the man appears to be listening, I continue further, “Finally, I can operate as a professional, in real-time during the acquisition of the vehicle to overcome problems that will certainly occur in an operation as complex as what will be needed to get the whole job done.  You think of yourselves as professionals and me as a car thief.  In this operation, you're the amateurs, rank amateurs, and I'm a professional repo man.  The repo man is much more than just a car thief.  With any luck, you'll not find out exactly how much you need me, but if you do need me I'm the only one with enough skill to successfully run the sort of operation you need.”

The man thinks and then nods.  “Well, for $100,000 we would expect a real professional.”

I quickly say, “Forget the $100,000.  If there are aliens dealing dope, the profits per shipment would be in the millions.