SUZY - Extract

 

NOW

 

"Are you sorry?" Suzy wasn't angry. She wasn't hissing and spitting saliva. Quite the opposite, she was remarkably calm. For an eighteen year old to be displaying such levels of calm in these surroundings was pretty much an eerie thing given what she had just done. "Yes, yes Miss Suzy yes I'm sorry." That didn't seem right - the woman who spoke in response to Suzy's question was older, much older. And there was this almost thick, palpable air of 'regret' that dripped out of her mouth with those words. "How sorry are you?" Suzy stopped in front of the seated Amanda and that seemed to put the older woman into a more severe state of regret. "Very, very sorry Miss Suzy. I'm so, so sorry." And there was this level of tremble in the older woman's voice. But looking at the circumstances, looking at what was going on in this place right now there was no surprise really.

"And what do you suggest we do about it? What do you suggest 'I' do about it? I mean you're already fucked but that isn't enough for me. I want you to be more fucked." Suzy was still standing right in front of Amanda, right over her and it was like she was doing that deliberately to intimidate her. But even that seemed 'wrong' somehow. This teenager intimidating a more mature, woman like this? There was this feeling - just a sense that something had happened. Or that there was some kind of history at play here. Some kind of story as to how these two people came to be in this place at this time. And why on earth would this woman, this attractive, impressive woman be so apparently 'afraid' of this girl? And why oh why was she addressing her as 'Miss Suzy'? That didn't seem right. In fact it seemed completely wrong. The longer one thought about this situation, the more one tried to drill down into the detail, the more questions would be raised. But the thing is that no answers came. "Anything Miss Suzy, I'd do anything to put things right. I'd do anything, let you do ANYTHING to put it right."

And once again, there was that dripping tone of regret to Amanda's voice. Once again there was this air of 'petrification' that surrounded the seated woman. There was more than a sense that she meant what she said. There was more than that sense that she wasn't just paying lip service to this young girl who was standing over her. In fact there was a sense that Amanda was desperate to put whatever was wrong between the two, right. "Well, that goes without saying. ANYTHING goes without saying. But what I am trying to work out in my mind is what would be 'appropriate' for you. What would be the right thing for you. Oh and, forget putting it right. It cannot be 'put right'. Nothing can be 'put right'.

"So I have to think, I have to ponder on where we go from here. I have to think what is appropriate for YOU." And Suzy let her words hang there. The more this eighteen year old spoke, the more mature and intelligent she sounded. Her accent was pure English. Indeed Suzy could be described as an English rose. And from the way she spoke she was obviously educated. It was because she was so educated that her spoken words seemed more chilling.

It was difficult to ascertain what was going on here or what had gone on. It was just the two of them and yet this wasn't just a simple disagreement. This wasn't an argument that had gone wrong. It wasn't something trivial. There was something that was anything but trivial about what was happening here. There wouldn't need to be a word spoken between the two to know that because Amanda was sitting on a hard, high backed chair naked except a pair of self-supporting stockings and high heel, strapless shoes. What the fuck? There was definitely something unsavoury about this. Something that was more than disturbing. There was something that settled uneasy on the mind. There would be the feeling that one would need to ask questions - that one would have to step in and ask the questions just so that the rest of it made sense. But then there would be the hesitation to do that because it would be like it would be rude to interrupt what was going on. There seemed to be a flow and a narrative going on that wouldn't tolerate being halted or stopped, or interrupted by anything or anyone from the outside.

"Only you can say what is appropriate for me Miss Suzy. I made a mistake, I know that now. And I know that it was a mistake that cannot be put right. What I did cannot be undone. And only you can say and do what is appropriate Miss." All the time there was this tremble in Amanda's voice - all the time. It sounded like her voice was about to break. Or even that she may cry. But this was a woman in her thirties. A mature woman who it would be hard to be believed could be reduced to tears by a slip of an eighteen year old. And yet this is what this situation was saying. It was something that was completely fucked up. Like a situation that had been taken and then twisted and turned inside out and the wrong way around. An older woman could intimidate a young girl with ease. It might not be right but it would be understandable. But this was the other way round. This was a young girl, an intelligent girl who had an older woman practically chattering her teeth at the intimidation that she was receiving from Suzy.

"That's right only 'I' can decide what is appropriate for you. That mistake you made cannot be undone no, but I have to make sure that you are sorry every waking and sleeping second from now on, do you understand that? I cannot let this go. I have to make sure that I know that you are as sorry as you can be. I have to make sure that you regret fucking with me for the rest of your life." Now it was getting REALLY creepy. This was pretty deep shit going down here and to hear this girl talking like this - to hear her and see her over this woman in this manner, and to hear her in that school girlish, yet educated tone and choice of words spell this out to this woman was something that was beyond disturbing.

Amanda looked up at Suzy and there was a hint that her huge almond shape eyes were filling up with tears. It was like she was in the process of realising exactly how much she had fucked up. It was as though it was all coming home to her - what she had done and the fact that it would never be put right. It did raise more questions. What can she have done that was so bad? What can this woman have done to make this young girl speak the way she was speaking? It was like one of those things that anyone would feel the need to tear themselves away from because it was so private. And yet at the same time it was something that was compulsive and compelling view all at the same time. Like one shouldn't listen and one shouldn't watch but one had to. One needed to.